Stride Tropical Trance

Flavor: I've got to give it to Stride, they are good at marketing. In this case, it feels like a flavor was developed, this sort of tropical flavor, and nobody in the tasting room could really figure out what it was supposed to taste like. It is, indeed, fruity, but I can't detect one individual fruit flavor in there.  One food scientist must have said to the other, "It tastes... tropically?"  And the other food scientist suggested they just shoot it up to marketing to work with that.  So that's what you have.  "Tropical Trance,"  a vague, nutra-sweet, fruity-esque flavor, that errs on the side of the tropical spectrum of fruitiness.  That apparently puts you in some kind of meditative state because of its hypnotic packaging.

Texture: It's all right, a good chew, as most Stride gum is.  Not much to report here.

Presentation: Ok, so in my imaginary Stride Tropical Trance development model, the marketing people received this sweet, nondescript gum and were charged with coming up with something that might entice a consumer to purchase it.  Somebody in that office flipped through their backlog of ideas that don't pertain to any flavor in particular, and found this one, which seemed to everybody to be a pretty cool idea. Thus, Tropical Trance was born.  Whether or not anybody researched the hypnotic nature of the swirly design on the package is yet to be determined, so let me know if you start acting out of the ordinary and doing something really strange like buying this gum more than once.

Overall:  You're getting sleepy... yes... yes... you're getting sleeeeepy.  Now spit out the gum... yes, that's right... and move on to another flavor.  This one's gross.

Rating: o (one gumball) 

Orbit Wildberry Remix

Flavor: Sometimes, when gum emulates a flavor we experience elsewhere in the world, it's a true delight. Chocolate chip mint ice cream, for example, or strawberry shortcake. But there are some flavors we don't ever want to experience again, like, say, grape Children's Chewable Tylenol. And that's exactly what Orbit Wildberry Remix tastes like to me. When I first opened the package, I thought it smelled a little like grape Big League Chew, and I was excited for that first piece, but I quickly realized upon chewing that the scent I'd detected from my childhood was none other than grape Children's Chewable Tylenol. I hated it then, and I hate it now. The smell is so overwhelming I may have to toss the rest of the pack. Who wants to be reminded of headaches and fevers? Not me.

Texture: I don't want to chew this long enough to find out how the texture will hold up. It's fine, I don't know, I just want to get this lousy taste out of my mouth.

Presentation: The fashion packs are getting cooler, that's for sure. There's a contest on the inside of the flap for a chance to win something called "Orbit bucks." When I investigated the contest, I was annoyed to find that it was yet another product culling contact information for a vague reward. "Bucks" are applied in the Orbit store, where you can buy lots of things, from gift cards to books to "dorm decor." I guess if you're an avid Orbit chewer, it's nice, but it seems like a lot of steps that most folks won't really take. Two ways to enter: 1. Take a picture of an illustration in the pack and text it to Orbit (and whatever happens after you do that). 2. Enter the secret password onto their website (after filling out a form with all your contact information). You then win a certain amount of bucks which can be applied to prizes, which are categorized according to type and value. Whatever happened to scratch and win? I just don't think this is worth it. If you think I'm wrong-- shoot us a comment and let us know what cool stuff you've bought with your Orbit bucks.

Overall: At least Chewable Tylenol cures headaches. This stuff gives me one.

Rating: o (one gumball)

Mentos Squeeze Strawberry

Flavor: The flavor here is reminiscent of the pink pellets in fruity Mentos packs, which is a pleasant surprise, especially since I can eat as many as I want and not worry about a sugar rush. The flavor lasts about as long as you can chew and swallow a Mentos candy, however, and quickly stales to a dull berry flavor.

Texture: Ok, so here's the thing, the gimmick here is that in the center of this gum is "99% real fruit filling." Why, that sounds delicious! Look at that delightful strawberry just BURSTING with juicy strawberry filling! I imagined that this imagery would mirror the forthcoming burst of juice I'd enjoy while biting into the gum pellet. But wait... what the... is that POWDER grinding between my teeth? I immediately had to bite another piece in half to inspect. Had this batch gone bad? Was it sitting on the shelf too long and had dried out? Alas, no. This was an intentional powdered fruit filling, like pulverized freeze-dried strawberries, the kind you rehydrate with milk in Special K. There's not enough time to rehydrate this powder with saliva before I'm just chewing on a straight up powder, though. It just doesn't work.

Presentation: False advertising, bro. Not cool. Or at least misleading... I'm not sure many other brands will mimic this gimmick.

Overall: Correct me if I'm wrong, but I just think this is stuff is nasty, and now I have a big ol' plastic tub of it to get rid of. Looks like I'll be putting this out with the rest of the gum on my desk on work for public consumption. This one ought to spark some conversation, anyway.

Rating: o (one gumball)

Choward's Scented Gum

Flavor: An odd combination of licorice and clove, Choward's Scented Gum doesn't claim to have any flavor at all. There's no mention on the packaging of how it's supposed to taste, other than a boldfaced claim, "A delicious chewing gum." I'm taking issue with Choward's here, because if there's one thing this gum is NOT, it's "delicious."

Texture: Starts off super tough, like it's stale. I had to proceed carefully with this one for fear that I might pop my crown or lift a filling. Once it softens, the mass of the wad diminishes to a size so small, one would need at least three, if not four pieces to sustain a decent chew. Size aside, it's sticky and tough, you can't crack it or pop it.

Presentation: What presentation? It's as if Choward's Scented Gum has traveled through time to come to us in its original 1930's packaging. No graphics, no colors, nothing but the aforementioned "delicious" claim and a tagline of "Fragrance that Refreshes after Eating, Smoking or Drinking." Fragrance that refreshes? How, exactly, does fragrance refresh? Flavor, yes... a refreshing sensation, sure... but fragrance?

Overall: Choward's has been making candy and gum since the 1930s. They have stood the test of time, obviously, as they have remained virtually unchanged since their inception. I, personally, don't get it. This gum is disgusting in every way. Borderline unchewable. It's worth it to note here that this gum should not be confused with Choward's Violets - also pictured above. This gum is not Violet flavored, despite the somewhat confusing packaging similarities. Although there are some people (my mom and BFF included) that are fans of the Violets mints, I cannot recommend them, either.

Rating: o (one gumball)

Stride 2.0 Forever Fruit

Flavor: From what I understand, this whole Stride 2.0 thing is supposed to be an improved formula that enhances the chewer's experience in some way (they even preemptively say "you're welcome" on the inside of the package for doing you the favor). As we've witnessed in the comments on our review of Stride 2.0 Spearmint, however, Stride fans aren't finding much improvement in the formula at all-- in fact, you all are pretty angry about the change. And I don't blame you. Original Stride Forever Fruit was bursting with flavor, so much so that if you weren't totally in love with it, it could be a bit overwhelming. Forever Fruit 2.0 hardly has any flavor at all-- hints of that original mango flavor are there, but are subdued so much that it's frustrating to even try to detect a flavor at all. I don't see any improvement here. I don't remember there ever being a problem with how long the flavor lasted for any Stride flavor, so if that's the improvement, there wasn't anything that needed fixing in the first place.

Texture: The texture is softer than I remember the Original Forever Fruit (Stride 1.0?) being, and it gets mushy quickly. They certainly didn't improve any formulation here.

Presentation: The integration of design on the plastic protective wrapping has become increasingly popular in the gum market. This is an interesting and innovative move, but the wrapper is removed immediately upon purchase, so it really has no impact other than selling you the product. Orbit uses this technique nicely in their new fashion packs, as most of the labeling and need-to-know-before-purchase information is presented on the outer wrapper, and once you're through making your educated decision on what gum to buy, you remove the jargon and are left with a a clean, funky pack that you can coordinate with your outfits. I took the wrapper off this particular pack of gum, so it's not pictured here. The wrapper design featured a half-zipped zipper, unveiling the new formula right before your very eyes. If only Stride unveiled it before your very tastebuds.

Overall: I was in Quick Check with my father the other day and he bought 12 packs of Original Stride Non-Stop Mint because he's so disgusted by the new 2.0 line and dismayed that he'll have to say goodbye to his favorite flavor. It's a very risky campaign-- totally renovating an entire line of a product, especially in a market so addictive and personal as gum. You'll sell plenty of gum by enticing customers to try something new and exciting using a clever marketing campaign. But you'll sell more packs to people like my father, who swear by their flavor and brand. They've selected their flavor, and they will continue to buy it for as long as it's on the shelves. This borders on betrayal for guys like him. If you want to launch a 2.0 gum, it's wise to launch a sister line, rather than replace the old one entirely. As is the case here, many loyal chewers will find a new brand to call their own.

Rating: o (one gumball)

Orbit Mist Crisp Mint Waterfall

Flavor: With Orbit Mist, I've come to expect a great burst of flavor-filled hydration when I chomp down, but I don't get that from the line's newest flavor, Crisp Mint Waterfall. It's one of those bland minty flavors that doesn't go anywhere or have any "definition," good for those that aren't into intense chewing experiences, but for me there's just nothing there.

Texture: This is horrible. It's almost like I got a stale pack, but this is a brand new flavor and I purchased it in a newly-opened convenience store, so it's not like it's been sitting on the shelf for a year. It's super tough from start to finish, my jaw aches just getting it to soften down, and once it's semi-malleable, it remains a danger to my dental work. There's little to no elasticity.

Presentation: Orbit Mist jumps the shark. The packaging used to stand out from the standard Orbit line, but they've gone and "fashion packed" it. I miss the refreshing ripples and metallic accents. My sympathies go out to the color blind, as I'm not sure they'd be able to see the dot-matrix Marlin that's hanging out all stealthy on the package (not that it's anything to get all excited about anyway). In fact, the outer cello wrap is far more impressive and exciting than what lives inside.

Overall: What's going on, Orbit? Your Mist line was so refreshing, pun very much intended. And now it's more of the same old, same old. Acutally, it's not even the same old, same old. It's much, much worse.

Rating: o (one gumball)

Juicy Fruit Juicy Secret

Flavor: I'm on to you, Wrigley's. I know this gum, and your "Juicy Secret" is about to be blown wide open. This is no Juicy Fruit. It's not even from the same planet as Juicy Fruit. This is Extra Fruit Sensations Berry Pearadise. Is it any coincidence that Extra's website no longer lists that flavor? I think not. Oh, Wrigley's. Perhaps this little stunt will fool gum amateurs, but true gum enthusiasts will not be swayed by your ruse. We know what's going on. That said, I was always a lover of Berry Pearadise. The tang at first bite awakens the taste buds and fills your mouth with juicy goodness. You can taste the berry and the pear quite vividly. However, after the first few chomps, the flavor fades to generic aspartame-berry.

Texture: At first, okay, but this gum is way sticky. Don't try to blow any bubbles with this one or you'll be scraping a gooey film off your lips for the better part of an hour. The longer you chew, the less cohesive this gum becomes. I've only gone 10 minutes or so, but I think this might be one of those gums that turns into plasma balls and stimulates my gag reflex, as is common with other Extra Fruit Sensations flavors.

Presentation: Come ON, Wrigley's! There might as well be a giant "S" on the front. Not only do you blatantly rip off the gum itself, but you ripped off Stride's Mega Mystery packaging concept, too. I can just see the marketing meeting, "What should the packaging be like?" "Well, Stride's mystery flavor is rainbow colors and question marks." "So shall ours be, then!" Really, Wrigley's? Really?

Overall: If I'd had the foresight to review Berry Pearadise before it went the way of Original Bubble, this gum would have gotten a far higher review. But since it's a total rip-off in every way imaginable, I'm going to go ahead and declare massive fail on this one.

Rating: o (one gumball)

eclipse Breeze Exotic Berry

Flavor: Alright, this has got to be a joke. This tastes like cough syrup. No, really - it tastes. Like. Cough Syrup. Not "reminiscent of cough syrup" or "cough-syrup undertones," this gum is full-on COUGH SYRUP. Nasty cough syrup, too. Like the kind of cough syrup that permeates your bitter taste buds and makes you shudder, the kind that you have to throw back like a tequila shot, lest your gag reflex overcome you. Apparently this gum contains "Cardamom," which according to Wikipedia, is a spice that does have medicinal properties. And you know... the longer I chew, the "spicier" it becomes, if you can call it that. It's kind of like the aftertaste of a clove cigarette. Gross.

Texture: Being a pellet gum, I expected a standard crunchy candy shell, but I was disappointed. There was no initial crunch, the chew of eclipse Breeze starts off like a stale piece of taffy. It does soften to a semi-chewable consistency, but really, but I don't really want to chew on a clove cigarette.

Presentation: The packaging is an appealing pink, with glittery-like graphics around the eclipse in the eclipse logo. (Have you ever noticed that before? It's new to me in the last few weeks - but now that I've seen it, it's all I see... much like the arrow in the FedEx logo.) The gum itself is flecked with red spots, leading me to believe it might be full of the crunchies I do so very much love in my gum, but alas, the flecks are misleading, as there are no crunchies in this gum. The gold bar on the bottom states "with Cardamom to Neutralize the Toughest Breath Odors." Inappropriate capitalization aside, I just don't get the "Neutralize" part. How does making your breath stink like nasty herbal cigarettes "neutralize" anything?

Overall: My reviews are rarely completely negative, but this gum is totally gross. I get a sense that the eclipse brand is faltering, and will soon go the way of care*free, disappearing into the gum void forever. This might be their attempt to revitalize the brand, I don't know, but the execution fails miserably here. In the Breath Neutralization War, Dentyne pure emerges as the clear victor.

Rating: o (one gumball)

Stride Shift Berry + Mint

Flavor: I must preface this review by reminding our readers that Shannon and I have a rule that we must always be chewing the gum-in-question at the time of the review. I struggled with the possibility of not chewing a second piece of this gum while reviewing-- it's that gross. In the end, my professional morals held strong, and now I'm chewing the second piece of the most disgusting gum I've had in a long, long time. I know all sugar-free gums are chemical-based and are probably leading me on a slow journey to an early death, but I can almost feel this gum in action as it deteriorates my life cells. It starts out bad and "shifts" to worse. I gave the Orange + Mint version of this gum some credit for trying something new and taking a risk. But I just can't do it again. The "berry" tastes like a straight-up packet of Sweet and Low, and the mint never even really comes to fruition at all. What you're left with is a phony-sweet lump of cold in your mouth with no defining flavors or positive attributes.

Texture: I can't even go into the texture-- it doesn't matter what the bite of the gum is like-- I'm too distracted by the film of chemical coldness that sticks to every surface in your mouth, a sort of slime that stays for at least half an hour after you stop chewing. It's nearly impossible to get rid of the film, chewing a different piece of gum or swishing a mouthful of water won't do it. It's so unpleasant that I was actually worried that brushing my teeth after this piece wouldn't eliminate the nasty cold lingering feeling and I'd be stuck with it for another hour of my life.

Presentation: As with its orange counterpart, this gum seems to be marketed toward adults, although I saw a little kid eyeing it up as I was opening it in the mall. It is a compelling concept-- (Two gums in one?! I've got to try that!), but even upon conception it seems counterintuitive that a berry flavor could shift into a mint flavor flawlessly, without an inevitable merging of flavors (a la Orbit Bubblemint). Alas, it falls short, after all.

Overall: Ughl, can I take this out of my mouth now? (That's what she said.)

Rating: o one gumball

Hubba Bubba OUCH!

Flavor: What does it matter? It's bubblegum. I'd even go to far as to call it a superior bubblegum. (Most sugarfree versions of sugared brands of gum are superior, as a general rule. I long to find sugarfree bubbletape again.) But, big deal. It's impossible to rate this gum objectively.

Texture: Good. Great. Fine. Awesome. Who cares?

Overall: Okay, here we go. I'm hoping that anyone over the age of, say, 25, can feel me on this one.

I vividly remember OUCH! gum when I was a kid. It was most definitely sugared gum, of the fruity variety (though it wasn't a very strong fruit flavor - I actually think it was more bubblegum than fruit.) It came in a band-aid tin which made it completely awesome to a kid. It was an actual metal tin that I remember re-using for other gum, candies, change, whatever.

The gum itself was wrapped in a paper wrapper that had a printing of a band-aid on it. Why this was awesome, I have no idea, but it was indeed quite awesome. I remember feeling like I was the shizz when a classmate would be all, "Got any gum?" and I'd whip out my band-aid tin of OUCH! gum and hand them a piece of band-aid wrapped sugary goodness. Oh, it was awesome.

Apparently, Hubba Bubba bought the rights to OUCH! gum years later and redesigned the package. I feel like this redesign was after my time, as I don't remember seeing it or tasting it. I can't tell you much about it, but I found this picture online:

So what we can deduce is: OUCH! went corporate, but Hubba Bubba had the brains to, at the very least, continue packaging it in its signature metal band-aid tin. I can't speak to the sugar content (anyone know if the new verson was sugarfree?) or the taste (it looks like there are three flavors in the pack - grape, watermelon and strawberry) but the look new look was fun, whimsical, and nostalgic.

But now. Now! Oh, Hubba Bubba. What have you done??

It's just a friggin' pack of gum! It's a pack. of. sugarfree. bubblegum. Who cares? The only thing reminiscent of the OUCH! gum of my youth is the band-aid on the front of the package, and the OUCH! logo. And that's where it ends. The front of the package proudly declares, "Games INSIDE!" and you open up the pack to reveal:

Oh, big WHOOP. "How Many? How many crutches are outside the emergency room?" And you have to search through the crudely drawn picture to find the 5 obvious crutches. There's a little bubble "LOOK FOR MORE GAMES IN PACKS OF OUCH!" as if the 0.4 seconds of fun I had searching for crudely drawn crutches would be enough to draw me back to buy more OUCH! gum. Hardly. There's not even any band-aid printing on the gum wrappers. It's JUST. GUM. Katie and my husband both think that the "OUCH!" logo on the front of the package actually works as a reason NOT to buy the gum - that it's some kind of super sour gum that will hurt you by chewing it.

Oh, I have been hurt by chewing OUCH! gum, Hubba Bubba. But not on my tongue, in my heart. No matter how flavorful this gum may be, no matter how perfect the bubbles it blows or how long the consistency lasts, Hubba Bubba has struck out big time with this one. They haven't even tried. I implore you to boycott OUCH! gum, and just buy Extra Classic Bubble if bubblegum flavor is the hankering you have.
Rating: o (one gumball)

Bacon Gumballs

Flavor: I cannot believe I have this in my mouth right now. (That's what she said.) It's definitely bacon, but kind of a faux bacon-bits kind of bacon. It's sickeningly sweet and not at all salty. Dear God.

Texture: Very soft, loses shape and size quickly.

Overall: This may be one of the most disgusting things I have ever had the displeasure to experience. I'm feeling really nauseous as I type this - I'm sure it doesn't help that I'm 5 months pregnant and easily nauseated. I apologize for the length of this review but I just don't have it in me to chew it long enough for anything more substantial. I fear I actually might vomit. I can't even see a true bacon connosseiur finding this gum palatable.

Rating: o (one gumball)

Trident Watermelon Twist

Flavor: On the package, three slices of fruit are pictured: honeydew melon, watermelon, and what appears to be cantaloupe. On my palette I taste exactly this many fruit flavors: ZERO. There’s not even an initial burst of *any*thing. When you first bite down, there’s this dull sort-of-watermelony taste that is so weak it is barely even detectable, it’s almost like smelling the piece of gum and chewing it are the same experience. The more you chew, the less flavor you get, if that’s even possible. It’s this barely detectable nutra-sweet nothing that never satisfies anything. Watermelon Twist is like a really bad blind date. An ugly one. With bad breath. That just leaves a bad taste in your mouth.

Texture: Its starts out bad and gets worse. I can’t even elaborate, it’s really plain and simple. It’s like gnawing on a rubber band.

Overall: I bought this gum a long time ago and vowed never to buy it again because of its intense suckiness, but alas, the gumblog calls, and people like catty ranting diatribes. I’m so disappointed in Trident that I want to just break up with it and upgrade to a gum that meets more of my complicated masticating needs, but my unconditional love of Trident Minty Sweet Twist (swoon...) is worth keeping Trident and me together for now. I won’t even finish this pack, and that says something. So, sorry Watermelon Twist. You’ll just have to chew yourself tonight.

Rating: o (one gumball)

International Spotlight - MUST

My husband came across a display of this gum in a local supermarket in the kosher foods section. There were a variety of flavors, and I picked up two: Mango Peach, and Extra-Strong Mint.

The flavors from which to choose were quite interesting. There were four fruit-flavors: The Mango Peach I purchased, a Cherry, a Fruit Flavored, and a Kids Fruit Flavored. The mints were interesting as well, with quite a few different strengths of mint, from Delicate, to Mild, all the way up to the Extra-Strong.

Here is a blurb from the packaging: "Kosher Pareve under the supervision of Nazareth-Illit Rabbiate. Product of Israel."

While it's pretty cool to be chewing gum that was made in another country, and also to be the first to spotlight an international gum, I have been pretty much dreading reviewing these gums. They're nasty. There's no going around it. Nasty.

These gums appear to be candy coated, but when I bit down expecting that familar crunch, I got nothing. It was as if I'd sucked all the candy coating off a piece of Dentyne Ice. The texture of both flavors was chalky at best, and with an extended chew it did eventually melt into a malleable mass, but there's just something off here. It's not smooth at all, it's almost like there's little mounds of gum base in there that for some reason didn't get softened enough.

The taste of the Mango Peach is downright horrible. It doesn't taste anything remotely mango- or peach-like at all. It's a horrible version of the fluoride your dentist used to put on your teeth when you were a kid. I immediately spit it out, and if it weren't for the purposes of this review, I would have thrown the pack away, never looking at it again. (Which I will do right now.)

The Extra-Strong Mint's flavor is alright. It's pretty strong and freshens the breath immediately. I couldn't tell you how long the flavor lasts, because I couldn't chew it enough to get past the chalkyness. Same goes for Mango Peach.

In conclusion, I certainly hope that this is not the only gum available in Israel. My heart goes out to the Israelis if this is the case. I would not chew this gum again if it were the last gum on earth, and I won't even be saving any for my sister to try. This gum is going into the garbage, where it belongs.
Rating: o (one gumball)

Orbit Sweet Mint

Flavor: What flavor? This gum tastes as if only half of the flavor powder was mixed with the gum base. I am constantly on the verge of enjoying a light, sweet mint flavor, but it’s so dull and distant that it just leaves me unsatisfied and wanting more. It’s like taking a bite of turkey on Thanksgiving and not getting to actually eat dinner. Such potential, and such disappointment.

Texture: Upon beginning to chew this gum, I expected (hoped) that it would soften with extensive chewing, but alas, it did not. From the beginning it’s just too hard. I imagine chewing this on a regular basis would cause that dull temple/jaw pain I associate with “needing to take a break from gum for a while,” like too many weekday hangover headaches to an alcoholic. But it’s just a poor quality chew, whether it’s one piece or one pack.

Overall: I’ve been giving Orbit four and five gumball ratings and I’m going to have to say that this was a huge letdown. Sweet mint is my favorite flavor combination and this gum not only falls short but is actually Unpleasant and DISsatifying. If it were any other brand, I’d give it the benefit of the doubt and grant it two, maybe three gumballs, but because it’s Orbit I'm rating it especially harshly because I know to what levels of gumdom Orbit can achieve. I’ve been intentionally avoiding this gum for months, and I’d forgotten why when I picked it up to gumblog it today. Now I remember why I’ve been avoiding it. It sucks.
Rating: o (one gumball)

Trident White Cool Mangoberry

Flavor: The hand lotion I was applying while chewing this gum was sweeter and more pleasing than this gum. The flavor, even with the first supposedly strongest bite of outer shell, was dull and distant, nondescript—a generic “fruit” base that I couldn’t put my finger on. Then came the gross part—is that… cilantro that I detect? I cleansed my palate with a Hersey Kiss and tried again, hoping that the cilantro was a fluke, perhaps a chemical reaction in my nose with the delightful hand lotion. Nay. Cool? Mangoberry? I disagree. If I had to name this gum, it would be in a white package, labeled “Fruit-like Cilantro Gum.”

Texture: Crunchy at first, mushy and decreasing in size the longer I chew. It’s your typical pop-out gum, only without the burst of flavor.

Overall: This gum is pre-packaged buy-one-get-one-free for a reason, fellow gum chewers. Let me just say for the record that I’ve never been a fan of the hard-shelled, pop out gum varieties, but I don’t think my bias has anything to do with the failure of this gum to perform. I’ll chew the rest of it one day, months from now, when I run out of gum and in a fit of desperation find it on the bottom of a pile of papers in my cubicle at work. Well, at least it’s “whitening.”
Rating: o (one gumball)