Big League Chew Outta' Here Original

Flavor: This is what Bubble Gum is all about. No frills, no burst of sour, no crunchies. Just pure, all-out sugary bubble gum goodness.

Texture: If nothing else, being a gum blogger has taught me that I have absolutely no idea how to chew Big League Chew. It's never been a gum to me, it's always been a game. The only time I've ever chewed Big League Chew in my life is when my sister or best friend and I have picked up a couple packs and had a contest to see how much we could fit in our mouths without gagging. (We always ended up gagging. It was disgusting.) As a result, it's really difficult for me to objectively blog about the texture - I've never had any idea how much of it I'm supposed to eat. I've had a few wads of it in preparation for this review, and no matter how small of an amount of shreds I chew, it always seems to be too much. From what I think I can gather, this gum starts off really soft. Like really soft, to the point where I feel like it's going to liquify. After a good 45-60 seconds, it starts to firm up and become a more enjoyable chewing experience. Bubbles with Big League Chew are fantastic. I've always maintained that BLC was the best gum for bubble blowing, and although recent gums like Hubba Bubba Bubble Tape Triple Treat give BLC a run for their money in the bubble-blowing category, BLC still remains tops in my book for bubbles.

Presentation: What can be said about Big League Chew's packaging? It's flawless. Now that I'm sitting here analyzing it, I don't understand how Big League Chew is still being manufactured, what with all the overprotective parents out there. BLC is shredded to look like chewing tobacco, and packed in a foil pouch... like chewing tobacco. It was created in the early 1980s to discourage the use of chew and provide a fun alternative. I can understand the mentality and the reasoning in the early 1980s, but in today's "Joe Camel Must Die" society I'm surprized that this has slipped through the cracks.

Overall: C'mon. It's Big League Chew. Who doesn't love Big League Chew?

Rating: ooooo (five gumballs)

Clorets

This review is sponsored by our friends at BestCandyStore.com!

Flavor: According to the Wikipedia article on Clorets, there are a few different flavors of Clorets in existence, but a quick Google search really only yields one flavor widely for sale: Green. There's no mention on the pack of a flavor at all, let alone a specific mint, be it pepper or spear or winter. Green, in the gum world, generally denotes a spearmint, but Clorets bucks that trend. Clorets mint isn't a spearmint at all; if I had to classify it, I'd say it were much more peppermint-like. Specifics aside, this gum packs a really great flavor. It starts off nicely strong, but not overly so, and fades to a smooth breath-freshening coolness. I had no idea about this, but the "Clor" in Clorets is a little play on words - Clorets contain Chlorophyll, which apparently has odor-absorbing qualities. Who knew? It's certainly not a factoid that is taught in fifth grade science in the Chlorophyll and You: Fun with Photosynthesis chapter.

Texture: The initial candy shell crunch of Clorets is one of the best I've encountered, and once the shell shards dissolve, the resulting wad is perfectly soft and pliable. I feel it's necessary to point out that Clorets is, surprisingly, a sugared gum. It doesn't feel like it, in either flavor or texture. It seems like kind of a waste... if I wanted to promote tooth decay I'd rather chew some Bubble Tape or Hubba Bubba and have some fun with it. Clorets, as good as it is, isn't really much fun. No bubbles to speak of - it's much too thin and sticky for that.

Presentation: It's old school. A cardstock paper box, minimal graphics, white text. Pretty boring. One plus is that the package is bilingual. It's good that our Spanish-speaking friends know that the FENILCETONURICS CONTIENE FENILALANINA.

Overall: Man. If I asked someone for a piece of gum and they pulled THIS out of their pocket? They'd be relentlessly made fun of for the rest of the day. Clorets is "old people gum," much like Freedent or Choward's Violet Gum. Who chews Clorets, anyway? Clorets is one of those gums that I've always known existed, but I've never really thought to pick up a pack. I'm always kind of surprised to see it's still around at all. When our buddy at BestCandyStore.com offered to send us some gum of our choosing to review, I was immediately drawn to the Clorets, because I would have NEVER bought it myself. I'm glad they sent it over to us, though... it's a surprizingly good gum.

Rating: oooo (four gumballs)

Clark's Teaberry Gum

Flavor: Clark's Teaberry is an old-timey looking gum with an old-timey, mild flavor. It's a super smooth, easy-to-chew minty stick. It's a pretty generic mint flavor, though if I had to classify, I'd say it's closest to a wintergreen. The flavor fades quickly, and after you remove your wad, you're left with the standard bitter aftertaste you get with most sugar-based gums.

Texture: It starts off a little tough, but quickly softens up to a perfect softness. Unfortunately, it's a little sticky to the teeth, and it has one of the worst squeaks I've experienced since Wrigley's 5 Flare.

Presentation: Clark's Teaberry gum has been around since 1900, and it looks like the packaging has remained the same since. It's a no-frills, retro packaging that warms the heart and reminds one of easier, simpler days. The sticks themselves are wrapped in coordinating paper sleeves with the simple Clark's tree logo.


Overall: Check out this advertisement from the 60's:

That about says it all. Teaberry gum is such a cute, sweet throwback to the days of old. While I don't find my feet running away with themselves and doing a little shuffle every time I pop a stick in my mouth, I do find myself reaching for it more often than other soy-free gums I've purchased.
Overall: ooo (three gumballs)

Clove Chewing Gum

Flavor: This is another "classic" flavor, marketed with Beeman's and Blackjack. Clove, much like Blackjack, tastes a lot like black licorice. There's a lot less information about it online, and it seems to be clumped with the other classics without much distinction. It's sort of spicy, has that herbal taste you'd expect from clove gum. Indeed, the longer I chew it, the more the taste replicates those little stems my mom used to stick in the ham at Easter. I wouldn't recommend sticking a piece of gum in your ham, however.

Texture: It's a solid texture, almost too firm. It has that weird foamy-spit side effect though, which kind of grosses me out. But otherwise, it's a chewing gum, not for bubbles, just for a good chew.

Overall: It's ok. Much like my review of Beeman's, I hesitate to really get in there and review this gum beyond the basics. It's a classic, a base from which other gums have gleaned inspiration over the years. But, I must say, I haven't seen "clove" flavor much of anything these days, save the cloves themselves and the cigarettes (which I also wouldn't recommend sticking into your Easter ham).

Rating: ooo (three gumballs)

Beeman's Chewing Gum

Flavor: I feel like a film critic reviewing Gone With the Wind. Can it be done? Can I make an unbiased judgement on a gum marketed specifically for being a revived classic? Of course I can. Originally invented by Dr. Edward E. Beeman in the late 19th century, the gum was made of pepsin powder and chicle, and was intended to aid to digestion. To be fair, let me just remind the reader that these ingredients are nowhere to be found in this modern concoction. That said, it initially smells and tastes sweet and minty, reminiscent of Canada Mints, of which I am a huge fan. But the flavor fades quickly and leaves that nasty sugar aftertaste-while-chewing that makes you reach for a piece of Trident or a toothbrush.

Texture: It's a decent gum, I imagine a definite upgrade from chicle and pepsin, although it's not done much for my rumbling stomach. It was surprisingly soft and the stick itself a lot more malleable than I expected-- I'd thought it would crumble like many other sugar variety sticks. It gets tough quick though, so enjoy it while it lasts.

Overall: In all fairness, this is not the original Beeman's, and I imagine there are some folks out there who remember the original taste and can vouch that this Frankenstein revival doesn't compare at all. (Although, I imagine Dr. Beeman's first followers might be sticking to Freedent, you know, for the dentures.) I won't be buying this again, but maybe someone who remembers original Beeman's might be able to shed some light on the subject and pursuade me to up the rating for reasons of nostalgia or reverence.

Rating:oo two gumballs