Trident Xtra Care Cool Mint

Flavor: Ok, so I hate to become redundant, but based on my and my sister’s ratings on mint gums, it seems that mint-flavored gums are easy to execute but difficult to execute in any kind of unique form. A mint gum is hard to screw up (although it’s been done, believe me). This gum is all right. It’s minty, cool, but that’s about it. The name is right, it’s Cool Mint. It’s a minty gum you don’t think about while you’re chewing it—a gum, if you will, for non-gum-conossieurs, folks who chew gum to freshen their breath and be done with it.

Texture: Meatier than most Trident gums, but stands true to the test of Trident texture quality. Once again, a fine, unassuming texture.

Overall: Again, this is a gum for gum chewers, not gum lovers. It’s just all right. The package bosts, “Xtra Care,” that it “Strengthens Teeth,” and has “Recaldent Milk Derived.” Not only is that grammatically incorrect, I am skeptical about its teeth-strengthening qualities. Let’s not be fooled by gimmicks, folks, chewing a stick of gum is not going to infuse calcium into your bones. But if you’re looking for stronger teeth, give it a shot, I guess. Or drink some actual milk. Otherwise, onward into the sea of mint for bolder and better flavor for me. If my teeth needed strengthening, I wouldn't be chewing this much damn gum to begin with.
Rating: ooo (three gumballs)