5 React2 - Fruit

Flavor: It's really, really hard, if not impossible, to find a good sugarfree grape gum. This right here? Is a good sugarfree grape gum. So why did Wrigley's muck it all up with their stupid "React" shenanigans? The original 5 React Fruit was a tropical explosion, all pineapple-mangoey. I would think someone who's tried the original recipe and is not gum-obsessed like me would gloss over the teeny "2" on the package, assuming it was your same-old, same-old. What's WRONG with you, Wrigley's? You've got a good thing, here! This is GRAPE! A GOOD grape! If you were itching to add to the 5 lineup, why not come up with a clever descripive word and call it something like "5 BLAM"? At least then, you'd get to stick a little tagline on the packaging, "A gooey, grapey grape" or something. No one who isn't a fan of Gum Alert will know that the new 5 React Fruit is grape. (Note: Katie said that after a few minutes this gets a distinct "Children's Chewable Tylenol" taste, but I never really minded Children's Chewable Tylenol, anyway.)

Texture: 5 always comes through with the good texture. This one gets a little tough on prolonged chewing, but it's a nice kind of tough, it's a very meaty chew.

Presentation: 5 packaging, blah blah blah. More of the same. It's all great, but it's all the same. The gum itself continues to be black, and I maintain: Why?

Overall: This is a solid gum. It has its flaws, but it's really the first gum, at least since the inception of this blog, that has succeeded as a sugarfree grape. If you're a grape fan, pick this one up and give it a try. The wee "2" packs a big surprize.

Rating: oooo (four gumballs)

Orbit Fruit Punch

Flavor: Well, you missed the boat on your "Mystery Flavor" with this one, Orbit. Because... I don't know what the heck this is supposed to be, but it sure isn't any fruit punch I've ever had before. When you name a candy or a gum "fruit punch," as with all common flavors, there are certain expectations your audience is going to have about what it's supposed to taste like. Fruit punch, real fruit punch, can I guess be pretty much anything-- orange + cranberry + ruby red grapefruit maybe (oo, throw a little rum in there while you're at it...), but when we're talking about the standard fruit punch flavor, it's a very specific taste we're talking about. I hated fruit punch flavor growing up, from Ssips to special edition Starburst, but I know a whole lot of people who really love it, and they would be totally disappointed in this gum. Standard fruit punch flavor is not easy to describe, sort of wild, lots of cherry in there and sugar, maybe some citrus undertones, a round fruity finish. This gum, however, is easy to describe: It doesn't taste like anything. It's just sort of... sweet. And it's cold, it has that minty cold sensation, although it doesn't even tout some kind of mint variety on it, like their other strange combos, "Citrus Mint," "Raspberry Mint." Blech.

Texture: What's going on, Orbit? Are you feeling all right? Because you're just not performing up to par these days, and you're a real go-getter, a real champ in the gum world. This gum is too tough, creates a foam in your teeth, and-- unheard of for Orbit-- this gum has a dull squeak to it.

Presentation: Fashion pack, smashion pack. This gum is just kind of lame.

Overall: I'm disappointed in you, Orbit. We've had such wonderful times together, and I'm afraid I'm beginning to become skeptical of your... experimentation with new flavors. Take some time off. Relax. Then get back to work, and make your fans proud.

Rating: oo (two gumballs)

Nerds Gumballs

Flavor: I only chewed the red one and the purple one, because I don't think my teeth could handle 5 gumballs in rapid succession. Everyone knows what a gumball tastes like. Super super sugary with very little actual "flavor." The red one has a slight cherry taste, while the purple one is somewhat grapey. The nerds do very little to enhance the flavor...

Texture: However, the nerds add a cute little crunch to the first few chews. They dissolve quickly, and the remaining gum is really hard and tough, like any gumball. You can get a decent bubble, but when it pops it sticks to your lips, skin, everything. Meh.

Presentation: 5 gumballs in a plastic pouch, nothing too crazy in the way of graphics, a couple cute Nerd-guys hanging out, but otherwise, it's pretty plain.

Overall: Pretty much the only redeeming quality about this gum is the first couple of chews, but once the nerds dissolve, it's just a gumball.

Rating: oo (two gumballs)